If you go down to the woods today.

I watch those crime dramas on tv occasionally, and if it's accurately describing real life, then just about anything an be construed as evidence. It's no wonder we are all a little guarded in this day and age. We never really show our whole selves to any one person. We do little things we wouldn't noramlly to save face or an argument. We want to protect our way of life and everyone in it, so we tend to keep things inside. We act one way at work and another at home. We only show what we want peole to see for fear of reprisal. But occasionally something happens, and all that goes out the window. The dam breaks and all your insides flow out onto the floor for scrutiny. You feel a little vulnerable, yet you happily persist, gently careening out control like a car with no brakes on a winding mountain road expecting at any point to smash into another car or the barriers. Eventually you steer off the edge and plunge merrily into the abyss and fall forever, your insides spreading out around you like wings to help you fly.

People are strange...

I remember walking down the cold corridor feeling empty thinking to myself, "That's it. The end of an idea." I remember standing on the front porch in the cold waving and thinking, "That's it. The end of a story." I remember sitting on the back step and knowing what was about to be said and thinking, "That's it. The end of my salvation." Each time, and there have been others, it left me with a hollow feeling of not knowing what to do with myself. Each left an imprint that will last with me a long time and gently shaped the image of me today. The lines on my face and the aches in my bones. A great many people have left their mark in some way, shape or form. But I never quite realised that I could have an impact too. I never quite thought of myself as shaping people the way other's have shaped me. Until now. Sometimes it's the little things we share about ourselves that have an impact, or the little things we do or don't do. And yet, it doesn't feel quite right. I did nothing more than be myself and someone managed to find inspiration from it. It's very humbling to say the least. And for all my efforts in my life at work and at home, I feel a little cheated that it took for me to just enjoy myself to make a difference in someone's life. I just let myself be swept away in the current and enjoyed every second. It felt like I floated on the surface of a calm, warm ocean with the breeze gently caressing my face and a cyclone swarming around me trying to pound me back to the real world. And when the storm finally caught me, I felt like I'd lingered too long, dry land wasn't quite the same and I miss the gentle breeze on my face. But I'll always remember my time in the sun. For this I am grateful and serve no regrets.